New Years Resolutions- Read it and Weep
Before the year was out, I was already trying out a resolution to take myself less seriously. I have been really fortunate this year, especially in terms of my writing. March saw my first published feature in a national magazine, the Roundel, June brought my second in BMW Magazine, I began this column for the New York chapter as well as contributing to the Delaware Valley chapter newsletter. So when the Wall Street Journal reporter contacted me about a funny article about car warranties I figured it was a good thing. I know I go to great lengths to fact check the accurate and salient information I try to present to readers with humor, and I made the mistake of thinking that a journalistic authority like the Wall Street Journal would do the same.
I had just read how the WSJ had slashed its senior writing staff and moved 60% of its staff to New Jersey, so it didnt totally surprise me that the young woman writing the article knew nothing about cars or warranties, and didnt own a car. Obviously the WSJ is trying to save money, like the rest of us in hard times. I assumed that she would do what I do when writing about subjects I know nothing about- research.
Her position that excessive warranty claims were damaging auto manufacturers seemed off-base, I was looking for her to produce in the article some empirical data to support her conclusion while I provided some comic relief in the 8 phone calls and half dozen e-mails we exchanged at her request. I spent a great deal of time teaching her about the issues and sending her links to information on the Internet. When the article came out it was neither funny nor accurate, she mangled everything I explained to her and never got around to producing anything resembling research on the topic. Apparently the square pegs of the facts do not fit in the round holes of her article. I have found, through classes taught by comedians and by my own experience as a standup comic that in order to be funny, a joke has to have a kernel of truth to it. Maybe if Jane Spencer owned a car she would see warranty claims and dealer service as something worth researching before denigrating car owners.
I thought of doing the research on the topic myself to see if there was any basis to validate her position, but it would be as much of a waste of time as correcting her spelling. Maybe the proofreaders at the WSJ got canned too.
I happen to be working on a research project on the cars made in the US from 1907 to 1959. By sheer coincidence I am finding the sales flyers for cars as far back as 1907- touting noiseless cars (Stoddard Dayton), and reading the accounts of authorities who build and rebuild cars who name their cars. Car noise is a real issue in the sales and service of cars, to the point that this weeks (it is November 23 as I write this) Newsweek magazine reports that cars of the future will have extensive sound systems, wireless headphones so that each passenger- and the driver- will be listening to different music. According to Newsweek, car makers are racing to redecorate with all the comforts of home on the road. Cup holders and a cassette player just dont cut it anymore. So much for Janes supercilious commentary about my complaint about noise and drink holders and her derision of car owners who name their cars. I did not have my drink holders replaced twice under warranty as Jane states. A dealer replaced a broken lid on mine and I did write a FAQ on how to replace your own cup holder/armrest when I bought a leather-covered one to replace my oem plastic version. Jane ran fast and loose with the facts on all the warranty work she ascribed to me, and still she made no sense and wasnt funny.
I dont mean to be arrogant about it, but what does a journalist know?
Poor Chris Bangle. The same journalist who begins his paragraph about the 745i with Why am I dishing dirt on this dreamboat ends the same paragraph with I dont mean to be arrogant about it, but what does a journalist know? BMW designer Chris Bangle said to me. Aside from my own thoughts about the new designs for BMW, its pretty clear that Keith Naughton used the power of his office and a forum he controls to heap retribution on Chris Bangle for having the audacity to say what was obvious. Its the same thing I just learned from my experience with the WSJ. Keith Naughton made a meal of Chris Bangle and the new 7 series to make a name for himself- and succeeded. Because of this one quote, Keiths otherwise redundant observations got quite a lot of attention, repeated on MSNBCs web site for as long as that remains and all over the Internet. Keith laments the 2 hours he says some dealers have to spend to teach people how to use iDrive. Did anyone ask BMW or the other car manufacturers if they want help like this? Did anyone find out how spending 2 hours with a customer who is spending $70,000.00 benefits or costs the dealers? Did anyone do a comparison of how this supposedly new attention to warranty items compares historically? Did anyone attempt to correlate the effect on sales of stronger warranties? Whatever you think about Chris Bangles designs, if you have seen your name in the paper misused and attached to nonsense, you have to sympathize. Next the WSJ will let Jane test drive a 745i.
What would Jesus Drive?
Todays New York Post says an unnamed evangelical Christian group is about to launch a series of TV ads that pose that question. I am trying to figure out which is more ridiculous, that an ad like that would be undertaken or that an ad line like that- which hasnt even happened yet- would be the subject of an article. Fair enough, the Post puts the article on their Opinion page where the article is clearly meant to be one mans opinion, humorous, maybe thought-provoking as well as eye-catching. It actually raises cogent and worthwhile issues, like what is the moral responsibility of car makers and car buyers towards fuel efficient, environmentally friendly cars. Oh right, that is what I mentioned earlier- to be funny, a writer has to have a subject with a kernel of truth to it. I had told Jane a lot of funny- and true- stories which she apparently chose to ignore in favor of nonsensical stories about me that she either distorted or made up. Im already funny Jane, you dont have to make stuff up.
Keith and Jane should get together, and try to buy a car for her and see her try to get that car serviced- with Jane really paying for it, now that would be funny.
Get your news from comedians
No wonder Don Kaplan writes in the NY Post Recent Pew Research Surveys show that about 29 percent of Americans under 30 are likely to cite Jay Leno, David Letterman and even [Jon] Stewart as news sources... Americans under the age of 30 are more than twice as likely to get their daily doses of news from late night comedy shows. Jon Stewart is quoted as saying, I think whats relevant about that quote, or even that piece of information, is that perhaps younger people are much more savvy to the preposterous facade that news and politics put forth as truth and so they turn to any alternative source. So, since the newspapers print and sell what people under 30 write without researching, people under 30 dont read it, or at least a third of them dont. They believe what they see on TV comedy shows so perhaps they think they are being funny when they write exaggerations and look down their nose at people who fork out more money on a car than they are paid in a years salary in a media forum they control. I would like a warranty on what I have to read please.
I am not buying into the bashing of the under 30 crowd, even though all the offending players I have mentioned, including Anders Warming, the twenty-something designer of the Z4, are of that group. Anders states in the online chat posted in the BMW Owners Circle online: So, for instance, the Z4, perhaps, attracting a younger dynamic personality and a 7 series attracting the executive, luxurious clientele... the Z4 is for us, on a personal basis right now, basically a reflection of 4 to 5 years of great work... Anders is 30 this year according to the current BMW magazine, living in California and designing cars for us, since he was all of 24 years old, about the same age as Jane. Welcome to middle age Anders, what shall we drive if not the Z4 for those younger and the 7 series for those executives? As I stood next to Anders and his family at Z3 Homecoming for the panoramic photo, he was busy telling the photographer how to shoot the photo in the rain.
So thats whats in print, thats what journalism, my new mtier, is. Finger-pointing, misquoting, self-promotion at the expense of others in the Wall Street Journal. Lumping people into categories, forcing a nonexistent point down the throat of whoever will listen, trying to be funny, trying to be under 30 for Newsweek. Maybe the real point is to live long enough to tell the difference between what is written to be informative and what is written solely as self-promotion.
Well, I am over 30, I do my research, I use a spell-checker and I make myself laugh with the truth I see, I hope it helps the people who read what I write. I drive a BMW that has been out of warranty for nearly a year, my other car is 30 years old. If September 11, 2001 didnt teach us about what was important then nothing will. What is written survives longer than human life, as shreds of documents and cherished diaries remain where people perished, anything I write I hope will stand for something more than a buck in my pocket. I will take the lesson I learned to heart, question what I read about people written by journalists who control the medium and the forum from which they pander- and not take myself too seriously as I drink a glass of the solution for wiping off bird droppings Jane says is the only liquid I allow in the car. Dont worry- its only water! ;D
Before the year was out, I was already trying out a resolution to take myself less seriously. I have been really fortunate this year, especially in terms of my writing. March saw my first published feature in a national magazine, the Roundel, June brought my second in BMW Magazine, I began this column for the New York chapter as well as contributing to the Delaware Valley chapter newsletter. So when the Wall Street Journal reporter contacted me about a funny article about car warranties I figured it was a good thing. I know I go to great lengths to fact check the accurate and salient information I try to present to readers with humor, and I made the mistake of thinking that a journalistic authority like the Wall Street Journal would do the same.
I had just read how the WSJ had slashed its senior writing staff and moved 60% of its staff to New Jersey, so it didnt totally surprise me that the young woman writing the article knew nothing about cars or warranties, and didnt own a car. Obviously the WSJ is trying to save money, like the rest of us in hard times. I assumed that she would do what I do when writing about subjects I know nothing about- research.
Her position that excessive warranty claims were damaging auto manufacturers seemed off-base, I was looking for her to produce in the article some empirical data to support her conclusion while I provided some comic relief in the 8 phone calls and half dozen e-mails we exchanged at her request. I spent a great deal of time teaching her about the issues and sending her links to information on the Internet. When the article came out it was neither funny nor accurate, she mangled everything I explained to her and never got around to producing anything resembling research on the topic. Apparently the square pegs of the facts do not fit in the round holes of her article. I have found, through classes taught by comedians and by my own experience as a standup comic that in order to be funny, a joke has to have a kernel of truth to it. Maybe if Jane Spencer owned a car she would see warranty claims and dealer service as something worth researching before denigrating car owners.
I thought of doing the research on the topic myself to see if there was any basis to validate her position, but it would be as much of a waste of time as correcting her spelling. Maybe the proofreaders at the WSJ got canned too.
I happen to be working on a research project on the cars made in the US from 1907 to 1959. By sheer coincidence I am finding the sales flyers for cars as far back as 1907- touting noiseless cars (Stoddard Dayton), and reading the accounts of authorities who build and rebuild cars who name their cars. Car noise is a real issue in the sales and service of cars, to the point that this weeks (it is November 23 as I write this) Newsweek magazine reports that cars of the future will have extensive sound systems, wireless headphones so that each passenger- and the driver- will be listening to different music. According to Newsweek, car makers are racing to redecorate with all the comforts of home on the road. Cup holders and a cassette player just dont cut it anymore. So much for Janes supercilious commentary about my complaint about noise and drink holders and her derision of car owners who name their cars. I did not have my drink holders replaced twice under warranty as Jane states. A dealer replaced a broken lid on mine and I did write a FAQ on how to replace your own cup holder/armrest when I bought a leather-covered one to replace my oem plastic version. Jane ran fast and loose with the facts on all the warranty work she ascribed to me, and still she made no sense and wasnt funny.
I dont mean to be arrogant about it, but what does a journalist know?
Poor Chris Bangle. The same journalist who begins his paragraph about the 745i with Why am I dishing dirt on this dreamboat ends the same paragraph with I dont mean to be arrogant about it, but what does a journalist know? BMW designer Chris Bangle said to me. Aside from my own thoughts about the new designs for BMW, its pretty clear that Keith Naughton used the power of his office and a forum he controls to heap retribution on Chris Bangle for having the audacity to say what was obvious. Its the same thing I just learned from my experience with the WSJ. Keith Naughton made a meal of Chris Bangle and the new 7 series to make a name for himself- and succeeded. Because of this one quote, Keiths otherwise redundant observations got quite a lot of attention, repeated on MSNBCs web site for as long as that remains and all over the Internet. Keith laments the 2 hours he says some dealers have to spend to teach people how to use iDrive. Did anyone ask BMW or the other car manufacturers if they want help like this? Did anyone find out how spending 2 hours with a customer who is spending $70,000.00 benefits or costs the dealers? Did anyone do a comparison of how this supposedly new attention to warranty items compares historically? Did anyone attempt to correlate the effect on sales of stronger warranties? Whatever you think about Chris Bangles designs, if you have seen your name in the paper misused and attached to nonsense, you have to sympathize. Next the WSJ will let Jane test drive a 745i.
What would Jesus Drive?
Todays New York Post says an unnamed evangelical Christian group is about to launch a series of TV ads that pose that question. I am trying to figure out which is more ridiculous, that an ad like that would be undertaken or that an ad line like that- which hasnt even happened yet- would be the subject of an article. Fair enough, the Post puts the article on their Opinion page where the article is clearly meant to be one mans opinion, humorous, maybe thought-provoking as well as eye-catching. It actually raises cogent and worthwhile issues, like what is the moral responsibility of car makers and car buyers towards fuel efficient, environmentally friendly cars. Oh right, that is what I mentioned earlier- to be funny, a writer has to have a subject with a kernel of truth to it. I had told Jane a lot of funny- and true- stories which she apparently chose to ignore in favor of nonsensical stories about me that she either distorted or made up. Im already funny Jane, you dont have to make stuff up.
Keith and Jane should get together, and try to buy a car for her and see her try to get that car serviced- with Jane really paying for it, now that would be funny.
Get your news from comedians
No wonder Don Kaplan writes in the NY Post Recent Pew Research Surveys show that about 29 percent of Americans under 30 are likely to cite Jay Leno, David Letterman and even [Jon] Stewart as news sources... Americans under the age of 30 are more than twice as likely to get their daily doses of news from late night comedy shows. Jon Stewart is quoted as saying, I think whats relevant about that quote, or even that piece of information, is that perhaps younger people are much more savvy to the preposterous facade that news and politics put forth as truth and so they turn to any alternative source. So, since the newspapers print and sell what people under 30 write without researching, people under 30 dont read it, or at least a third of them dont. They believe what they see on TV comedy shows so perhaps they think they are being funny when they write exaggerations and look down their nose at people who fork out more money on a car than they are paid in a years salary in a media forum they control. I would like a warranty on what I have to read please.
I am not buying into the bashing of the under 30 crowd, even though all the offending players I have mentioned, including Anders Warming, the twenty-something designer of the Z4, are of that group. Anders states in the online chat posted in the BMW Owners Circle online: So, for instance, the Z4, perhaps, attracting a younger dynamic personality and a 7 series attracting the executive, luxurious clientele... the Z4 is for us, on a personal basis right now, basically a reflection of 4 to 5 years of great work... Anders is 30 this year according to the current BMW magazine, living in California and designing cars for us, since he was all of 24 years old, about the same age as Jane. Welcome to middle age Anders, what shall we drive if not the Z4 for those younger and the 7 series for those executives? As I stood next to Anders and his family at Z3 Homecoming for the panoramic photo, he was busy telling the photographer how to shoot the photo in the rain.
So thats whats in print, thats what journalism, my new mtier, is. Finger-pointing, misquoting, self-promotion at the expense of others in the Wall Street Journal. Lumping people into categories, forcing a nonexistent point down the throat of whoever will listen, trying to be funny, trying to be under 30 for Newsweek. Maybe the real point is to live long enough to tell the difference between what is written to be informative and what is written solely as self-promotion.
Well, I am over 30, I do my research, I use a spell-checker and I make myself laugh with the truth I see, I hope it helps the people who read what I write. I drive a BMW that has been out of warranty for nearly a year, my other car is 30 years old. If September 11, 2001 didnt teach us about what was important then nothing will. What is written survives longer than human life, as shreds of documents and cherished diaries remain where people perished, anything I write I hope will stand for something more than a buck in my pocket. I will take the lesson I learned to heart, question what I read about people written by journalists who control the medium and the forum from which they pander- and not take myself too seriously as I drink a glass of the solution for wiping off bird droppings Jane says is the only liquid I allow in the car. Dont worry- its only water! ;D
Rachel
Esmerelda's Page
Z3ers.com
Esmerelda's Page
Z3ers.com
